I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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