Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
