it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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