I wish you could order shots online.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
