Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize