Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
third nipple confirmed
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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