i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
