I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize