can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
