I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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