I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
