Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
