so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
