After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Randomize
