Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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