we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Randomize
