i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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