Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My ass is underappreciated
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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