He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
