she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
