My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my liver is dry heaving
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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