On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Dick very happy bro
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
