I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
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I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
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Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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