So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
