I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
