Texts From Last Night

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  (213): View more from California

  I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday

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  (213): I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday http://tfl.nu/jq66
  Replies (19) Good night (4081) Bad night (876)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.

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  (302): I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers. http://tfl.nu/ujt7
  Replies (13) Good night (713) Bad night (3369)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.

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  (631): Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person. http://tfl.nu/vzo8
  Replies (15) Good night (3599) Bad night (717)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM

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  (561): i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM http://tfl.nu/acmo
  Replies (43) Good night (1426) Bad night (4077)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!

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  (902): It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time! http://tfl.nu/2h7j
  Replies (12) Good night (836) Bad night (3581)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.

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  (630): Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle. http://tfl.nu/mxjx
  Replies (7) Good night (906) Bad night (5010)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.

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  (765): I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me. http://tfl.nu/y0cn
  Replies (4) Good night (3169) Bad night (698)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.

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  (316): There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day. http://tfl.nu/dhd7
  Replies (4) Good night (3664) Bad night (593)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways

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  (406): You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways http://tfl.nu/cne1
  Replies (6) Good night (708) Bad night (1334)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday

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  (262): The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday http://tfl.nu/kdkl
  Replies (3) Good night (1352) Bad night (541)
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  (714): View more from California

  No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.

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  (714): No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/hejd
  Replies (4) Good night (435) Bad night (723)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.

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  (971): I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day. http://tfl.nu/yn9t
  Replies (2) Good night (722) Bad night (302)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed

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  (347): Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed http://tfl.nu/rghw
  Replies (2) Good night (669) Bad night (310)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone

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  (248): I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone http://tfl.nu/qvsu
  Replies (0) Good night (697) Bad night (382)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?

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  (478): Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night? http://tfl.nu/3zr4
  Replies (3) Good night (417) Bad night (211)

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