Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.

(402): View more from Nebraska

Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?

(913): View more from Kansas

Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.

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(913): I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body. (402): Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days? (913): Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm. http://tfl.nu/rpz1

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(908): View more from New Jersey

my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.

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(908): my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue. http://tfl.nu/njsp

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(615): View more from Tennessee

If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.

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(615): If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night. http://tfl.nu/85ri

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(650): View more from California

Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers

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(650): Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers http://tfl.nu/4ij8

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(210): View more from Texas

no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked

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(210): no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked http://tfl.nu/pl9e

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(630): View more from Illinois

you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing

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(630): you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing http://tfl.nu/mpy9

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(801): View more from Utah

She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.

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(801): She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous. http://tfl.nu/mgxb

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(889): View more from

found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.

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(889): found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint. http://tfl.nu/70ee

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(727): View more from Florida

Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.

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(727): Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time. http://tfl.nu/hhge

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(513): View more from Ohio

So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.

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(513): So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks. http://tfl.nu/ufdq

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.

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(423): I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex. http://tfl.nu/g9ms

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(207): View more from Maine

It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now

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(207): It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now http://tfl.nu/zpim

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it

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(215): It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it http://tfl.nu/0xgu

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(928): View more from Arizona

YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?

(1-928): View more from Arizona

...and?

(928): View more from Arizona

I hate when you're right.

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(928): YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!? (1-928): ...and? (928): I hate when you're right. http://tfl.nu/4pb8

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(406): View more from Montana

Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.

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(406): Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video. http://tfl.nu/84d9

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