I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
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it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
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In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?