I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here