you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
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i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
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I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?