I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
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you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
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yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.