can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
