I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
