Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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