We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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