Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
