either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
please come you make the beer taste better
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
