Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
