it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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