I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
