we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
