the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
