College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
