the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
