We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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