she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
