i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He felt like a one man threesome
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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