Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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