I want to have your abortion
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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