gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
