Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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