wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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