It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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