Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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