then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
