one two three fourrrrnication!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
