why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
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Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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