ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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