what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
