Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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