so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
