Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Damn victory sex feels great
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
