He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize