your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
