I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
