There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I bet he comes in French.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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