I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
FUCK WHALES
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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