Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
