i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
