i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize