since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize