Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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